Today is A-Level results day in the UK. Some students may be feeling over the moon, others may feel overwhelmed, some may feel disappointed and it might be that some feel a bit everything. The grades students receive are often the gateway to other opportunities, so understandably there is a feeling of pressure and wanting to succeed. However, I am left wondering what success really means?
Exams and assignments are an opportunity to pass a test. That’s it. However does this equate to success? When I think about it, each person has a talent, something they are good at. What if that thing isn’t passing the assessment? After all, you can’t fit a square peg in a round hole.
My other thought is the comparison factor… It is easy to compare grades with peers. However, what if the comparison remains with the individuals expectations. Obtaining a pass for some will be an achievement and that’s ok. As a society there is a push to be “the best” but what happened to being good enough? Striving for more is tempting, however when considering the potential impact upon mental wellbeing and self esteem, I question if more than good enough, i.e. being perfect is worth it.
I have personally battled with this element of education. Often feeling disappointed with anything less than the highest grade, which for me was often unobtainable. Eventually… I realised that the grade itself didn’t matter, even failing. What really matters is what I got out of learning about the subject along the way. Even if it was a topic I didn’t particularly enjoy. I got to this point of acceptance through my own personal therapy. I recognised that, to an extent, the answers on many essays were indeed subjective and a reflection of my opinion at a point in time. Therefore “doing my best” was simply showing up to an assessment prepared.
Although there is no “choice” over the specific grade given for a completed piece of work, there is an element of choice in the response given to the grade received. My own journey to acceptance came from reframing how I think about grades and success, therefore challenging my belief system.
The more I think about it, the more I am becoming aware that the meaning of “success” will be different for each individual. So much will depend on individual goals, dreams and expectations. Alongside this, long term life success is more than the grades on a piece of paper, surely a bigger part of success is what someone does with them. If a straight A (however many stars) student ends up doing the same office job in their 30’s as the student that scrapped by, is one more successful than the other?
Not getting the right grades might be a game changer for some. However, there might be other paths to your personal success. The initial emotions of not getting that grade can be extreme for some. It might be difficult to see past the obstacle present. Counselling can offer a supportive space to explore your emotions and thoughts, providing the opportunity to gain clarity to find a different path to personal success.
“What defines us is how well we rise after we fall”